Padre
by Cherry chain
Summary: I've never been that close to father, and I don't understand everything he does. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love me.


AN: Still in China. In the middle of the day when nothing's happening and all of my friends in my timezone are sleeping, there's nothing to amuse myself with except for embroidery, making bracelets, and writing. Lots and lots of writing. I have so many half-finished oneshots on my laptop now.

I dunno if this one really has a point. I just wrote whatever came to mind. Was suppose to be entire happy-go-lucky but then it got a bit dampened after I read a summary of Altair's new novel. Goddamn Ubisoft enjoyed abusing poor Altair.

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><p>One day when father left me and mother again he told me that he loved me. I held onto his clothing and cried, telling him that he did not. He left us so often that I wondered if he even cared. He turned and picked me up, holding me close against him so I could smell that scent that was so particular to father. He told me that it was because he loved me and mother so much that he had to go.<p>

So many years later, now that I have finally grown up, I understand. That smell that always lingered on him and his clothes was the smell of blood. Rivers of blood, countless futures destroyed, hopes shattered. So much darkness that it could never be washed away. He left so I would not become a part of the blood that stains his hands.

It was Carnevale. I was perhaps five or six. Father came down from the roofs, slipping into my room from the open window. I was trying to copy the strange runes Antonio had left me, who had taken it upon himself to teach me how to read and write. I still remember the dark red tunic father wore that night, with the intricate white and gold embroidery that weaved across its surface.

He ran his hand through my short hair, ruffling it with a laugh as I fought to duck away. I couldn't help but join his laughter.

"You're a big strong boy now aren't you son?" He asked and I nodded enthusiastically.

"Come on then, I have something to show you."

Eager to abandon the work I was suppose to do, I hurried after Father as he opened the door a crack. He glanced in all directions before slipping out, turning back to me with his finger on his lips.

"Shhh- quiet as a mouse, OK?"

I kept my mouth closed tightly as I nodded, wide-eyed. Then Father led me outside the Thieve's guild.

Outside the Thieve's guild! Mother always said that I should never leave without her or her permission, and that I should always stay within the San Polo district. But I was with Father, I decided that it was OK. We made our way through the streets, and I felt out of place as we moved south across the bridge. There was a lot of people in the Dorsoduro district wearing fancy clothing like father's. I wore better than most in the thieves' guild, but I still didn't feel like I fit in.

Father pulled out a mask for us both and we laughed as I held up the mask that was too big for me to one side so that I could see from at least one of the eyeholes. I lost my awkwardness as we walked through the streets that were quickly being filled with performers of all kinds. The music that filled the streets and all the people celebrating was getting me more and more excited. Mother had never taken me to Carnevale before. The smells wafting from a nearby bakery had me practically begging and Father bought me a large piece of cenci to eat as we made our way through the Dorsoduro district.

Finally we stopped near the water at the base of a tall tower. I was licking the last vestiges of sugar off my hands and I saw father putting my mask away in a pouch so that his hands were free.

He bent down and guided me behind him, telling me to hold my arms tightly around his neck as if he was giving me a piggy-back ride.

"Hold on tight and don't let go."

The moment he stood up, my feet left the ground and I felt my grip slipping from the shock. Father wrapped both arms behind him to help give me a push, and I locked my hands together.

Then he started the climbing the wall. At first I was terrified.

"Padre- I'm going to fall." I whimpered, digging my face into his back to avoid having to see the ground leaving under us. Father was climbing so fast, faster than any of the thieves I've seen. I felt my grip slipping and the next thing I knew Father shifted suddenly and I was falling, for only just a moment. Then father's arms caught me around the middle and held me close to him as I started crying. He held onto a small ledge on the wall with only one hand.

"I won't let you fall, but I need you to hold on as tightly as you can, OK? Come on, big boys shouldn't cry."

Somehow, I managed to climb onto his back again and he continued his way up the wall, towards the top of the tower. The sun was starting to set by then, and I was worried mother would miss me. Did father tell her what he was doing?

I was no longer scared as we neared the top though. I trusted father. He wouldn't let me get hurt. Finally he climbed over the edge of the roof and I slipped off of father's back. I left white hand-shaped prints on my arms from holding on so tightly.

He sat back, taking off his own mask. I settled beside him, one hand holding on tightly to his sleeve, nervous that I might simply slide down the edge of the sloped roof. We were very high up, higher than I had ever been. You could see so much of the city from up there and I marvelled at how beautiful Venice could be with all the lights and music and _coriandoli_ strewn about the streets under the feet of colourfully-dressed people.

Father's timing was almost perfect. Not a minute had gone by since we made it to the top that the first of the fireworks went off. I stared wide-eyed as it exploded up in the air right above us, so near that if I reached my hands out I thought I could hold the beautiful sparkling lights. I've only ever seen them from the roof of the Thieve's guild but here- we were right in the centre of it.

I was held transfixed, my heart leaping at every loud _bang!_, clapping with glee as my favourites -it was this one firework that made a high-pitched whine as it zigzagged upwards, leaving behind a wide trail of yellow sparks, making a loud fizzing sound- filled the sky.

At some point I must have begun to doze off because I was suddenly brought back to alertness as father grabbed me by the shoulder and pulled me down to rest on my back against the roof. He himself was flat against the surface of the roof as well, and motioned for me to follow him. He started to crawl up towards the tip of the roof, and crossed over to the other side where it angled away from us. I rolled onto my belly and followed father's example, doing my best to stay quiet as I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked tiredly.

"No preoccuparvi." _Don't worry_, he assured me. He told me we were going back down and helped me onto his back again. I wondered if I could hold on for the entire climb down, but even as father hopped off the edge of the building -my heart gave a lurch as he turned and caught himself- I could see that going down this way wasn't going to be nearly as long. While the tower came directly up from the street on the other side, this side came down onto the roof of a building. I can ask to take a break once we reach it before we go the rest of the way down.

When we finally reached the roof I let go and dropped to the ground, unable to hold on any longer. I held back my tears as I fell and scraped my knee- but I wouldn't cry this time. Only girls and little boys cried. He glanced around him quickly before swearing softly.

"Ah, merda." Father was looking up at the tower above us. It was then I realized that he was not wearing his Carnevale mask. I had left mine on the roof as well. He seemed to decide that they weren't worth going back after though, because he took my hand in his and began to walk us down the roof away from the tower.

We made it to the end of the roof and father glanced down at the going-ons of Carnevale beneath us. I thought we were going to go down but instead he led us around until we came to a point where cables ran from our roof across the street to the next.

"How much have you learned from the thieves? Do you think you can get across on your own?" Father asked me as he let go of my hand, stepping forward onto the cable.

"I-I can do this." I wasn't entirely sure. I've practised before, but I don't always make it across. It shifts and bends wherever you step on it, making it hard to keep your balance. Father believed in me though, because he simply nodded and made his own way over the cables. I watched how he crouched low and kept his arms out for balance, almost sprinting across. Nervously I placed a foot on the cable, took a deep breath and got down low.

I made my way across much slower, carefully placing each foot, but not daring to stop. The forward momentum kept you balanced better. I felt my left foot slip near the end but strong hands grabbed me by the arm. Father pulled me forward onto solid ground. I was starting to get scared again, but I didn't want to ask father why we couldn't just go down onto the streets. I didn't want him to think I was afraid.

We made our way carefully over the roofs back to the north, and I was looking forward to being back at the Thieve's guild again. I still had to finish Antonio's work by tomorrow morning or he'll scold me and give me more to write.

Then suddenly father grabbed me and pushed me roughly against a chimney. I felt the rough brick scrape my back as father suddenly disappeared in a blur. I heard a nervous voice call out.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" The man was just on the other side of the chimney from me. His voice was tired, slightly slurred. I shut my eyes tight and prayed for him to leave. He didn't. I could hear him grumbling as he made his way around the chimney. "You're not allowed up here you know."

There was a strangled cry and the man stopped getting stepping nearer. I opened my eyes at father's voice.

"What did you see?" He asked. I've never heard father sound like that before. It was scary.

"W-who are you?" The first voice cried out and I couldn't help but peek over the side of the chimney. There was a guard there, with father right behind him. Father's left hand was up at the guard's throat and I saw the light of the fireworks above glint off of something shiny. The guard saw me, locked eyes with me and they filled with confusion. "W-wha-"

Father saw me then and his eyebrows came together like people's did when they were thinking. Bad thinking. The kind of thinking that made your head hurt because there were no right answers.

"Federico, please turn around and hide behind the Chimney." He ordered me in a calm voice, and I couldn't help but obey. He sounded so different from usual. I darted back behind the brick immediately, my heart pounding louder than the bang of the fireworks or the boom of the drums below. I heard a strangled sob, then a scream cut off by gurgling. I knew death and I knew murder, even at such a young age. Even if father made sure I didn't see it, I could imagine it. I didn't understand why he had to kill the man.

We made the rest of way back to the thieves' guild in silence. There was blood on father's left sleeve. I was afraid to hold his hand. I had difficulty getting across the river so Father carried me down and we hopped onto a gondola before making our way to the bridge.

When we got home mother was furious.

"I'm sorry Rosa."

"Damn you Ezio. Don't you dare take Federico out like that again, you _miserabili pezzi di merda,_ without even telling me! I was worried! _Cazzo!_ You were in a fight! Did not you consider for even a moment what might happen to Federico, _stronzo_? You might not care about our son -_my_ son- but _I_ do."

I went and hid in my room, pulling my pillow over my ears. I hated listening to others being angry, mother especially. I did my best not to cry. In the morning Father was gone. I was afraid to ask mother about it, but a week later Antonio told me that father had left the city for work.

I never saw much of him after that. His home was here in Venice and he was here often, but he never took me out again. He never stayed long with us, rarely spent his nights at the guild. I often wondered what happened that day.

It all makes sense now of course. I was father's weakness. One of many. He killed that guard because he saw me, might have realized that the famous Assassin had a son. If the Templars found out, I would be in danger, would be a target for them in order to get at him. Father realized this too that day.

I visited Grandma and Auntie Claudia once. Claudia told me that father rarely talked to her much anymore, even when he was staying at Monteriggioni. It was all for us, for our safety. He even stopped seeing mother so much. I wonder if he got lonely.

To be honest, Ezio was a lousy father. He was never really there for me even before that day on Carnevale, did not know how to take care of a child. Mother and Antonio raised me. Father was always too busy, too many people needed him. But he tried, and he cared.

And that's all that really matters.

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><p>AN: I don't think Ezio would make a very good father (though considering how he gets around I'd imagine he has quite a few kids by the end of II). He doesn't exactly "settle" down. Not with a girl, not with his family, not in a place, and not with a child. To me he seems like the guy who once in a while will be "Oh merda I have a kid, right." and then he goes and takes the kid out to do something awesome and spoils the kid rotten and then screws up royally. He cares about the kid, but that doesn't mean he has any idea what he's doing.<p>

Once again, there wasn't really a point to this fic. I was just bored and lonely and I can't understand a word of what anyone's saying here. If this makes no sense, poke me about it and I'll look it over again when I'm not half-asleep.


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